How Your Beliefs and Stories Cause Your Suffering

At the heart of our spiritual and personal journey lies one of the most profound truths: the power of choice. Every day, consciously or unconsciously, we make choices that shape our experiences, define our relationships, and mold our understanding of the world. These choices are not only in the actions we take but also in the beliefs we hold, the stories we tell ourselves, and the narratives we choose to cling to. These internal dialogues, often deeply ingrained, have the power to either imprison us in cycles of pain, frustration, and suffering or liberate us into a state of peace, clarity, and inner freedom. Whether we view ourselves as victims of circumstance or empowered agents of our destiny largely depends on the stories we repeat in our minds and hearts.

How Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality

Our beliefs and narratives act as filters through which we interpret every event in our lives. When these filters are clouded by past trauma, fear, or false perceptions, they can distort our reality and keep us trapped in patterns of negativity. However, by becoming aware of these patterns and choosing to rewrite our internal stories, we can transform our lives and unlock the potential for healing, growth, and deeper connection with the Divine.

In this article, we will explore how these beliefs and narratives shape our reality and often become the root of our suffering. More importantly, we will discuss how we can begin to change these beliefs, reframe our stories, and embrace a new perspective—one that leads us toward greater peace, freedom, and alignment with the divine purpose of our lives.

The Power of Breath and Relaxation

One of the most overlooked but essential tools for overcoming suffering is something we do every day: breathing. When we are stressed, anxious, or in pain, our bodies tense up, our breathing becomes shallow, and our nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode. This not only affects our physical health but also perpetuates negative psychological and emotional states.

When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, the first thing you can do is simply stop and breathe. By regaining control over your body through deep, mindful breathing, you also begin to regain control over your mind and emotions. This simple yet powerful practice can serve as a gateway to deeper healing and transformation.

How Your Story Shapes Your Reality

We are all storytellers by nature. The problem arises when we become victims of our own narratives. Often, we craft stories of victimhood, oppression, and injustice that keep us trapped in cycles of suffering. While these stories may be based on real events, they limit our ability to see the bigger picture—the divine hand at work behind every situation.

When we focus only on what others have done to us or how circumstances have wronged us, we lose sight of a fundamental truth: Allah is in control. By continually identifying as the victim in our stories, we not only shift blame to others but, over time, we may even begin to blame God. This keeps us stuck in a cycle of pain, unable to take personal responsibility for our role in shaping our experiences.

Taking Personal Responsibility

Taking responsibility for our lives, even in the face of difficult circumstances, is key to breaking free from suffering. This doesn’t mean that other people’s unjust actions are excusable, but it does mean we must turn inward and ask, “What role have I played in this situation? What beliefs have I held onto that allowed this to happen?”

We live in a universe that mirrors back to us what we believe about ourselves. If we feel unworthy of love, respect, or kindness, we will continue to attract situations and people that confirm those beliefs. This is why it’s crucial to examine our beliefs and take control of the narratives we repeat, both to ourselves and to others.

The Source of Our Worth: Divine Love

Our worth is not defined by what others think of us or how they treat us. It is rooted in our relationship with God. Allah Almighty created us with love and sustains us with love. Every breath we take is a gift from the Almighty, a reminder of our inherent worth.

When we base our self-worth on this divine truth, we break free from seeking validation from others. We realize that we deserve to be treated with compassion and dignity not because of something inherently unique about us, but because we are creations of God. This shift in perspective can empower us to expect better from life, to rise above victimhood, and to embrace the possibilities of transformation.

Changing Your Inner World

The Quran teaches us: “Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (Quran 13:11). True transformation begins within. Our outer world reflects our inner world, and as long as we cling to negative, limiting beliefs, we will continue to experience suffering and hardship.

To attract new circumstances, we must first become new people—people who believe in our worth, who know we are deserving of divine mercy, and who trust in God’s plan for us. This process of inner change takes time and effort but is the only way to create lasting, meaningful change in our lives.

Letting Go of the Past

One of the biggest obstacles to growth is our attachment to the past. When we continuously replay old stories of hurt, betrayal, or injustice, we remain stuck in those moments. As the saying goes, “You cannot drive forward while looking in the rearview mirror.” We must learn to let go of the past, forgive, and move forward if we want to embrace the possibilities of the future.

Your life is not defined by your past story. Every present moment is a new opportunity, a springboard into infinite possibilities. By letting go of old narratives and embracing a new perspective, we free ourselves to live a life of greater peace and fulfillment.

The Role of Spiritual Practice in Healing

Spirituality and healing go hand in hand. Through spiritual practices like meditation, reflection, and dhikr (remembrance of God), we can begin to heal the wounds of our past and transform our beliefs about ourselves and God. An hour of introspection, as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, can be worth more than years of worship, because it sheds light on the unconscious beliefs that drive our lives.

These practices allow us to see clearly, to make the unconscious conscious, and to move beyond the limiting stories we’ve held onto for years. Only by doing this inner work can we finally break free from the cycles of suffering that have held us back.

True Strength Comes from God

In this world of trials and difficulties, we must develop strength—physical, emotional, and spiritual. But this strength does not come from within us alone. It comes from Allah—our Lord and our Source. When we rely on God, we are strong. Without Him, we are weak.

By cultivating faith and turning to God in times of difficulty, we can face any challenge and overcome any obstacle. The strength to survive and thrive in this world comes from our deep connection with the Divine, and by nurturing that connection, we are empowered to live a life of purpose, resilience, and peace.

Reprogramming Your Beliefs

One of the most effective ways to change your life is to reprogram your beliefs about God, yourself, and the world. The unconscious beliefs we carry from past experiences continue to shape our lives unless we consciously choose to change them.

Affirmations, reflection, and writing are powerful tools for reprogramming our minds and hearts. By reminding ourselves of the truth—Allah’s love, mercy, and guidance—we align ourselves with divine reality. As Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi: “I am as My servant expects Me to be.” What we believe about God and His plan for us contributes in the shaping of our reality.

Conclusion

Your story does not define you. Your beliefs and narratives are powerful tools that can either imprison you in suffering or liberate you into peace and freedom. By taking control of your beliefs, letting go of the past, and reconnecting with the Divine, you can create a life filled with grace, strength, and divine love.

May Allah grant us the wisdom to see beyond our stories, the strength to change our inner world, and the faith to trust in His perfect plan.

Allahumma ameen.

To your divine and eternal success.