I recently attended a conference that hosted a diverse range of speakers on the topic of manhood and masculinity, particularly in light of current cultural trends that seem to be vilifying traditional masculinity while diminishing and demeaning the role of fathers in the household and in society.
This is a topic and phenomenon that I have become acutely aware of over the course of the last several years, and it is one that I feel is of absolute and utmost importance, especially for we who seek to follow a faith-based lifestyle that not only leads us to the pleasure of our Lord and Creator, but also to success, health, happiness and harmony, both in this life and the next.
After addressing questions I have received regarding my recent experience with COVID-19 and my personal thoughts and opinions on the vaccine, I dive into this issue to share with you what I believe is an absolutely essential topic to begin addressing.
Masculinity is Sacred
Both the feminine and the masculine are sacred, and are created and established by the Divine as part of the complementary and structural balance within the Universe.
Within the Qur’an, Allah Almighty states that He Most High created the male and the female [49:13], and this is juxtaposed with the creation of the night and the day and the sun and the moon, each swimming in their respective orbits, neither overtaking the other and in perfect harmony and beautiful balance [21:33].
In such poetic descriptions, Allah Almighty is pointing to sacred structure and divine balance, and that His divine will is in the establishing of polarity as a fundamental aspect of the nature of creation.
Furthermore, all of creation is manifest with the divine qualities of beauty and might, or jamal and jalal, a sacred and divine model that is very similar to the yin and yang of traditional Chinese medicine, philosophy and spirituality.
While the jamal (yin) is the feminine aspect of the manifestation of the Divine Attributes, the jalal (yang) is the masculine. By nature, women are naturally dressed more so with the jamal, or beauty, softness and surrender, whereas men are naturally dressed more so with the jalal, or might, firmness and assertiveness.
In a divine quest for wholeness, oneness and love, each seeks and is drawn to the other, and it is in the difference between the two that attraction is created and exists. It is important to know that when polarity is absent, attraction and balance are lost, and structure collapses.
Each of these sacred attributes have their specific roles and functions within creation, and it is only when each plays their part that harmony and health are established and maintained within a relationship and in the societal structures that relationships make possible.
Yet when human beings who are unique in the ability to choose do so and act out of incongruence with divine will, failure results. In the staggering statistics of collapse within family units and structures in the modern world, we clearly see a crisis of cataclysmic proportions.
The Crisis is Real
When we reflect upon the goal of Satan, who is by Allah Almighty’s sacred words an avowed and sworn enemy unto mankind [2:168, 12:5, 17:53], we realize that he seeks to maximize human suffering and to rob us of purpose. Yet we must also remember that he can only do so by manipulating human beings towards their own destruction.
The essence of human life on earth is experienced in the home and in the family unit, and all of life is built for and around the sacred relationships of kin, most significantly and fundamentally in the relationship between man and woman.
It is the relationship between husband and wife that the entirety of human society and culture are built, and upon which rests the hope for the next generation. It is for this reason that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated, “Marriage is half the religion.”
In his attempt to both destroy humanity and maximize human suffering, Satan’s primary goal is to destroy the family unit, upon and through which is also realized the reality of religion, which is the experience of love. He does this through the ancient strategy of “divide and conquer,” and through modern culture and so-called progressive paradigms, he has helped to now engineer new societal and cultural norms based in competition and thus conflict in place of the harmony that previously existed within the home and that made possible far greater levels of health, happiness, wholeness, unity and love.
It is not surprising thus to see the consequences of such cultural chaos in the catastrophic results that the modern world now experiences, in which a majority of marriages fail and the majority of children now grow up in broken homes. The fact that these statistics are now becoming the norm amongst Muslim and faith-based communities as well is an alarming trend, and an indication that believers are slipping into models and paradigms designed to destroy health and harmony, for in such is the failure of religion itself.
Manhood is Essential
Men are by nature created, built and designed to guide, lead, shepherd and protect. This is especially true for fathers, for once a man becomes a father, his ancient, primordial and innate drive towards responsibility typically becomes exponentially awakened, and he naturally seeks to now do his best for the sake of his children, just as a mother naturally begins to become primarily concerned with the welfare of her children once she bears them.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, yet these are never the norm. It is not surprising then that the modern world and contemporary culture, all subtly influenced by dark, unseen and malevolent forces [7:27], has all but declared war on the “patriarchy,” which is by definition fatherhood and the role that men were built, created and designed to play as heads of household.
Consequently, modern media, culture, programming and politics persistently demean, disparage and diminish men—fathers especially—who are commonly portrayed as inept, incompetent, weak, imbecilic, buffoonish, absent and irresponsible at best, and as outright evil, malevolent and abusive at worst.
In this way, while we may not realize it, we and our children are subconsciously programmed with psychological blueprints very counter to what has thus far enabled the human race to survive and to thrive. Whereas men and fathers—patriarchs—have throughout history and in all cultures been respected for their service and the responsibilities that they carry, they are now actively questioned, contested, compromised and disempowered in their natural and God-given roles.
In essence, men, largely due to their own unconsciously wiling compliance, are being stripped of their manhood and their masculinity. This is to the detriment of all, for when men fail to act as competent and confident leaders, their families, communities and society as a whole suffer and collapse.
Never before has this issue been so critical, and it essential that men now awaken to their true nature as deputies of the Almighty and learn how to effectively, lovingly, humbly and sincerely—yet also firmly—carry out their responsibilities towards their families and their communities, and also take an uncompromising stand against inverted influences and ideas that are now leading to the demise of the human race, the loss of divine purpose and the loss of innocence amongst our children.
None of this is to say that the abuse of power is not possible or has not happened. It is and it has. Yet the path forward is not the relinquishing of power, which is Satan’s strategy to rob human beings of their ability to stand against him and his servants. Rather, the path forward is in the maturation and personal and spiritual development that makes us most effective in serving and acting in the divinely destined roles we were created for.
This is the moment in history in which when men can and must rediscover what it truly means to be a man, for only when a thing is lost is it truly understood.
Conclusion
I conclude with this.
Men, return to your nature and remember who and what you are, and hold firm to the purpose for which you have been created. Do not let the modern world and and its devolving culture with its ever changing and fickle self and ego-based concepts compromise your authentic nature and your integrity.
Learn how to awaken and cultivate the sacred masculine. Live with honor, excellence, nobility, love, compassion and humility. Seek to serve, and become strong and effective so that you can do so with excellence. Follow the footsteps of the Prophet ﷺ and the rightly guided. Seek the straight path, and live out your divinely destined purpose as a deputy of the Almighty.
In short, be a man, and help save the human race from itself.
Women, support your men and remain rooted in your femininity. Become aware of the corrosive ideas and concepts that are now the norm, as well as of the subtle yet pervasive programming that is constantly taking place to contribute to victim consciousness and false narratives, and firmly stand against them.
We are here on this earth for but a short time, and in the end, all that will matter is the love, happiness, health and harmony that we cultivate through humility, submission and surrender to Divine Will.
To your divine and eternal success.
13 Responses
Early last summer I ask my neighbor, who is a writer on Sufism and Islamic topics, about Dschihad and the circumstances legitimizing a religious war. He responded with telling me, last legitimate Dschihad had been in Afghanistan after the invasion of the Sowjetunion.
In early summer 2021 I wasn’t really following the NEWS coming out of Afganisthan but it felt that time, despite of having fought a legitimate Dschihad … the Taliban had lost the conflict.
Only a few weeks later, a sudden shift happened and the NEWS from Afganisthan announced an overwhelming victory of the TALİBAN … I immediately rushed to my neighbor as I perceived the reports as utmost positive and a sign of signaling HOPE for the UMMAH.
I had signed onto Islam in Saudi Arabia, my Shahada is stamped in Makkah and my understanding of the gender relation in Islam derived from a book by Satchiko Murata ‘The Tao of Islam’.
The book is absolutely complimentary to this excellent lecture.
The ‘ Tao of İslam’ and IBN ARABI’S interpretation of LOVE or AL NIKAH became a solid foundation or path I am walking on. Al hamdullelah.
Sister Kitty Amina, can you clarify what you mean bye ” NEWS from Afganisthan announced an overwhelming victory of the TALİBAN … I immediately rushed to my neighbor as I perceived the reports as utmost positive and a sign of signaling HOPE for the UMMAH”
from my own personal knowledge, (I can be wrong) the contemporary so called talibans that have taken over Afganistan are nothing but corrupt, drug dealing, illiterate, bandits, that don’t have any genuine interest for making Afghanistan a true flourishing Islamic state. The only kill, rape, force, divide stop positivity, lie manipulate loote etc. If they have wanted a nice Islamic place it had have been like that and it is not.
I am glad that America has gone from there but the backbone less corrupt leaders as well as the people is also a part of the problem in Afghanistan I think.
There is nothing dangerous than a weak man.
Start by dressing the man so that he gets in to the character. A lot of the people due to how they are dressed and facial hair also gives a sense of being in a character but this is only phase one. I can give a fake mustache to a boy and he might play with it, and feel like a man for a moment. To first make man feel like man. Get them into the character. Then comes the deeper penetration of being manly.
I also noted a type error in your article; I think you meant to say “divide and conquer” not “divine”
Very valuable information and thanks.
this is the truth! I pray that this message will spread as much as possible Inn Shaa Allah. mostly to men. I can be wrong but it seem that it is mostly women that are interested and searching for truth while men want to be entertained?
The Truth is Men are searching for the TRUTH ( Maarifat) But very Few, As Not all But Few Womens also try to search for the TRUTH but very less. the Corrupted Societies Cultures and Hidden Agendas for internal Family Affairs are Making life very Difficult and Bringing more and more suffering for the Weak People (Health and Wealth). Once your Believe system is Corrected you will be Protected and Guided By the Divine. You have to Connect to your Higher Self and Be in Peace and Dress Yourself with Divine Light to be Merge with your Higher Self.
I was actually reluctant to type down the comment … and even placed it wrongly under the previous lecture because I was wondering, what type of responses are placed at the lectures. Anyway, I did feel it was a POINT BREAK in this endless war in Afghanistan, as the Taliban declared victory. Especially after listening to interviews with Abdul Qahar Balkhi. I trusted his words and with the Taliban announcing amnesties and taking control in a masculine way by establishing order and security made me hopeful …
I probably wouldn’t have been so enthusiastic, if I hadn’t ask the question about the legitimacy of a Dschihad only week before. And that’s why I rushed to my neighbor … who is way more realistic on the topic. Let’s hope Afghanistan will manage to govern itself and recover.
Unfortunately, there is very little accurate news and reporting most have access to, in particular with regards to Afghanistan, and most journalism is framed with an extremely negative lens. Yet we are hopeful that destructive interference end and that peace may finally be reestablished there, with the will and mercy of God.
Thank you so much for sharing this amazing work! I hope many gets a chance to read it because it is so true and pertinent. What a better world it would be for both, all men and women to understand and accept that notion of polarity, and live in congruence with the divine will. Real science is within the world of God. Who knows creations better than the creator itself? The brainwashing is real. It is important to stay vigilant for satan is taking over in very sneaky ways
Well said, Oumou, and ameen. They who listen and hear, possible by maintaining and remaining humble in heart, will benefit. They who do not will only reap the results of their unconscious and ego-dominated choices. May Allah Almighty keep us firmly established upon the straight path of excellence, balance and beauty, and again guide this ummah to leading towards goodness and light.
Thank you Sheikh Ihsan for your words. I also feel strongly about this topic. In my job as a primary school teacher in Australia, I see a wide variety of approaches of parents to their children, and how this plays out in the classroom community I work in.
So I am one of 3 men in a workplace of about 20 people, in a majority feminine profession. I need to be much more careful how I interact with the children than my female colleagues.
When I was younger, in my first marriage, I embraced a lot of the feminist ideology around me. I never assumed any job would be mine or my wife’s just based on our gender. I began to work part time to look after our kids after a few years, so my wife could work full time.
I believe that I am very lucky to have been able to spend so much time with my children in their infancy. But I also believe that our having to work out our own roles for ourselves (as opposed to following clearer gender norms) made life very hard and confusing. It is crazy that every couple should work out everything themselves from scratch! Most of all, my preoccupation with being gentle and consultative with my kids meant that I was too easy on them and they have suffered. Gentleness and consultativeness are wonderful, but must be balanced by firmness and boundaries. And by high expectations, if we want our kids to rise and become great!
One of the things that drew me to Islam was and is the intact, strong, service-oriented, loving and indispensable masculinity that I saw, mostly in our beloved Prophet PBUH.
Alhamdulilah.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and insights, Dawud, they are much appreciated. Indeed, we as a species would get nowhere if we had to literally “reinvent the wheel” in each generation. This is the folly of modern culture and its pseudo-progressive paradigm in which we are conditioned to feel that tradition must constantly be questioned and contested, when in reality cultures have evolved over thousands of years specifically to create sustainability, health, harmony and wholeness, primarily with regards to maintaining strong relationships in the nuclear family, extended relations and thus tribes and communities. May the guidance, peace and protection of God be with you and your household.
Thank you Ishan for this thought provoking video. As always, your videos are relevant to the reality many of us are living and always bring inspiration. In looking at my own family and friends who have recently separated or divorced, I can see the crisis you have mentioned. May Allah provide us all with the tools, advice and courage to have this conversation with others to assist them in becoming aware of their actions for the sake of their children. Fathers are needed and may Allah turn all their hearts towards the right path and back to togetherness and strength for their family. Allah Akbar. Tamara
Ameen, and thank you as well for sharing your insights and reflections, Tamara. We pray that Allah Almighty guide our community back to wisdom, knowledge and faith that we may serve in the function and capacity we were created for, namely as deputies of the Creator, simply and purely calling back towards goodness, truth, light and beauty. To your divine and eternal success.